sensed

For months I have formulated this letting go theory in my mind...Get over it...move on...But like i said, it's just a theory...constantly proven wrong every time I feel you touch.
I love spending time with you. I love watching you sleep(which often leaves me awake the whole time just watching you). I love to drown in your stare over the coffee table. I love checking my phone knowing that you rang mine. I love how your lips curve everytime you smile. I love the feel of your skin against mine. I love the way you make me melt in your arms everytime you say you love me. I simply love you...So you said you feel the same way for me too? But love was not enough. it never was.. A kiss won't fix it all.
It's a struggle to see you everyday, have you smile at me like that, and me having to hide the longing in my eyes, the trembling of my voice, the beating of my heart. It's cruel how distance makes me want you more..It's torture having me lay it plain and simple that whatever we have right now can never be brought to a higher level.
I could have loved you more, but I can't promise to make you happy, to give you what you need, what you want, what you deserve.
Whenever I'm with you, i become fragile,delicate,dependent..weak..But the mere thought that you're mine and mine alone is enough to put me up to the pedestal for me to reach the skies.. You are my strength, yet you are my great weakness.. You know that don't you?That's why you wallow in my sadness..Its hard for me as it is for you..Can't you see that though not a tear will fall for you. I am hurting...Feel the pain in my eyes.. I am suffering in silence.
Maybe what you said was true..I complicate things..Maybe because things aren't as easy as it was. I am a complex individual with my own dreams, my own goals, my own friends. And maybe time will come that i'll be ready to make that leap to your world, leaving my dreams, goals and ambitions.


My whole being is screaming for you..Can you hear it? I hope you do...