bitterness

Breathe in for luck, Breathe in so deep. This air is blessed, You share with meThis night is wild, So calm and dull. These hearts they race from self-control. Your legs are smooth as they graze mine. We're doing fine, We're doing nothing at all. My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy. My heart is yours to fill or burstto break or bury, or wear as jewelery. Which ever you prefer. The words are hushed lets not get busted,just lay entwined here undiscovered. Safe in here from all the stupid questions.. "hey did you get some?"Man, that is so dumb. Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear, so we can get some.Hands down this is the best date I can ever remember. I'll always remember the sound of the stereo.The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair. That you twirled in your fingers. And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late. And this walk that we shared together. The streets were wet and the gate was locked. So I jumped it and let you in And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist. And you kissed me like you meant itAnd I knew, that you meant it. That you meant it, that you meant it. And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

aug 22, 2006

sobrang galit ang napapansin...madidiin ang paghampas ng hangin sa kaawa-awang niyog..halos matuklap ang spaltong daanan sa pagpatak ng malalaking butil ng ulan..lumiliwanag ang maamong itsura ng kapaligiran sa paglitaw ng mumunting kidlat...kasabay nito ang galit na ulap habang pinapatunog nito ang nakakatakot na tunog..nkatalukbong na ng kumot pero sinusundan pa rin..lungkot na lungkot tlga ang paligid na halos ala ng makitang bakas ng kasiyahan..natatabunan ng dilim ata hagupit ng tunog ang bawat sulok..kitang-kita ang bag-uunahang ulan sa bawat pagsilip..natatabunan na ang spaltong daanan ng magkahalong ulan at putik patungo sa kung saan..nagsisigawan na...lalong tinatakot!


titila rin...katulad na awayan....

the other side of me

hindi ko maintindihan ang kabilang bahagi ng sarili ko habang dinidiktahan niya ang isa pa...gusto niyang pitikin ang kaawa-awang nilalang na nkasabit pero pilit paring tinatakpan ng isa pa ang maling isipan..hinimas-himas ang dominanteng parte ng nilalang.. hindi patatalo sa tinatawanang hugis na katawan na nsa gitna. Tinutusok ito ng dalawang kakampi..nsasaktan ata ayaw paawat..sinisisi niya spagkat nung panahong mas kinailangan siya ang masunod ay hindi ngpapigil..ang hugis!!! Medyo naiinis kasi huli na tlga! ngawa na! nagmamarunong kasi! ala namang isip! patuloy lang sa pagsabog ang pulang likido sa bawat hagupit niya ng masasakit na salita..."yun lang ang trabaho mo at hindi kna dapt makialam!! isa nlng ang bubunutin na kita!!

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an immature rose and an immature band too..

sensed

For months I have formulated this letting go theory in my mind...Get over it...move on...But like i said, it's just a theory...constantly proven wrong every time I feel you touch.
I love spending time with you. I love watching you sleep(which often leaves me awake the whole time just watching you). I love to drown in your stare over the coffee table. I love checking my phone knowing that you rang mine. I love how your lips curve everytime you smile. I love the feel of your skin against mine. I love the way you make me melt in your arms everytime you say you love me. I simply love you...So you said you feel the same way for me too? But love was not enough. it never was.. A kiss won't fix it all.
It's a struggle to see you everyday, have you smile at me like that, and me having to hide the longing in my eyes, the trembling of my voice, the beating of my heart. It's cruel how distance makes me want you more..It's torture having me lay it plain and simple that whatever we have right now can never be brought to a higher level.
I could have loved you more, but I can't promise to make you happy, to give you what you need, what you want, what you deserve.
Whenever I'm with you, i become fragile,delicate,dependent..weak..But the mere thought that you're mine and mine alone is enough to put me up to the pedestal for me to reach the skies.. You are my strength, yet you are my great weakness.. You know that don't you?That's why you wallow in my sadness..Its hard for me as it is for you..Can't you see that though not a tear will fall for you. I am hurting...Feel the pain in my eyes.. I am suffering in silence.
Maybe what you said was true..I complicate things..Maybe because things aren't as easy as it was. I am a complex individual with my own dreams, my own goals, my own friends. And maybe time will come that i'll be ready to make that leap to your world, leaving my dreams, goals and ambitions.


My whole being is screaming for you..Can you hear it? I hope you do...

Pride

nkatutok sa baku-bakong balat sa babang parte ng katawan..sobrang dumi sanhi ng mga likidong pinapalaya ng malapresong ulap..tangay ng mga likidong ito ang mga duming dala ng kalikasan pati na rin ng tao..naanod papalapit sa akin..gusto kong tanggalin ang anumang bahid ng dumi pero huli na, dama ko na ang sakit dulot ng pagkabigo..nabigla ng matignan ang bugbog na matatagpuan kung saan nagtatagpo ang mga malalamyang buto..mga bugbog na sanhi ng larong pinupukpok ang bilog na bola sa isang matigas patag na tinatapakang ng milyon-milyong tao araw-araw..masakit at mahapdi..sa pagpisil, huling huli ang likido na ayaw pakawalan ng mga mata..isang pisil pa at hindi na kinaya ang bigat na pasan ng aking mga mata..kinuha ang bagay na pantakip sa tuwing malamig,nilapat sa mukhang ayaw paawat..alala ang mga halakhak na tumatagos sa puso at unti-unting sumisira sa bawat pagtibok nito..gusto ng tumigil..krangalan at pagtatanggol...hindi ko sila naibigay..

hinihimas ang sarili..sakit paring ang sadyang nagpupunyagi...pasensya na...

the most unforgettable week

could not figure out what was really going on with my fucking exams...i could not exactly pin point the truthful faults..exhausted and terrified that someone would just approach me and notify the deep reality that im not good enough to handle circumstances like those that i've encountered! deep shit! i hate this week and im so stubborn to act so confident! boastful isn't it! shit!


11:51am...when the world starts to be obscure!